FORGIVENESS: an Act of Love

- July 09, 2023

FORGIVENESS: an Act of Love

(July 9, 2023)

“I forgive you.” Words that are often very difficult to say especially when the person who hurt us is the last person we would think would bring us so much pain. In any relationship, when one party causes hurt to the other, the relationship is shaken; sometimes even would lead to separation. The relationship is broken. Trust is lost. Love is shattered. Deep hurt permeates into the person’s core.

The offending party asks for an apology and says: “I am sorry.” Sometimes the apology is expressed in different ways – be in another word or in action, an offering of coffee, or a phone call saying “Hi, how are you?”, or a text message of “Please take care.”

Still, there is so much weight in us to be able to easily respond with “I forgive you.” Depending on the degree of pain, our forgiveness comes slower than a snail. Why? People say that the depth of hurt with which the pain caused explains it all. Others say the offense was too much that trust is lost, love is shattered. Worst, the person’s dignity and self-confidence are pricked to the core causing the offended party to either succumb to depression and loss of self-esteem, or developed so much hatred in the person’s heart that pushed the person not to trust nor love again. In such cases, forgiveness is far from reach.

I am not an expert on relationships but at times like this, per my experience and that of what I witnessed with others, time and space are the ran to mechanisms to experience the healing process and hopefully begin to open oneself to the possibility of forgiving and being able to start all over again. To trust again. To love again.

Oftentimes though, the Holy Books – the Bible or the Quran (depending on one’s faith belief) – are the best guideposts on forgiveness. Here are some quotes:

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. (Mark 11:25 )

Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good. [Al ‘Imran 3:134]

Verily, the Hour is coming, so forgive them with gracious forgiveness. (Quran 15:85)

We have not created the heavens and the earth and everything in between except for a purpose. And the Hour is certain to come, so forgive graciously. (Quran 15:85)

Other personalities also have given us words of wisdom on forgiveness which are very good reminders of the value of forgiveness. Here are some of them:

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. (Bryant H. McGill)

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. (Robert Muller)

Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you. (Classed as sahih by al-Albani in Sahih at-Targhib, 2465)

One common message in all of the quotes, I believe, is this: Forgiveness is rooted in God/Allah who is love. Thus, FORGIVENESS IS AN ACT OF LOVE.

When we offend God/Allah, His divine compassionate love embraces us with forgiveness, and we are made whole again. It is a spiritual experience that no amount of words can explain the mystery of our faith in the goodness of God/Allah. Who are we then not to forgive our brethren?

As believers of the One True Almighty Being, in whatever name we use, we are called to forgive no matter how grave an offense may be. Because forgiveness is rooted in love. And true love is immeasurable, unconditional.

If we love, we forgive. Why? Because we ourselves are loved and therefore forgiven. We are called to do the same.

Our essence as creatures of God/Allah is that we are able to love, thus, we are instruments of forgiveness.