Self-care: YOU ARE LOVED

 

Self-care: YOU ARE LOVED

(June 15, 2023)

A friend of mine sent me this picture thread she found on a social media platform. She thought I would need and love this. Well, I really do not know what she meant but I find this interesting, and it moved me into thinking. I share my reflections here.

 

First up, I acknowledge the importance of self-care. For a person who is always on the look out for the welfare of others, “A Man for Others,” re-energizing is very important. Taking care of others in various ways and forms can be very draining. Even though you do not expect a return to your act of charity, an appreciation of it from the recipients is a basic human need. To be appreciated even for simple ordinary acts of love and care enflames the heart of the giver as well as it re-kindles the love to serve and care more that further inspires him to give more. It is therefore important that we who receive charity must be able to show our deep acknowledgement and appreciation to every bit of act of kindness toward us. On our part as the giver, we must be able to find time (always actually) to re-energize ourselves in the form of SELF-CARE.

For some reason that I do not understand, the thread begins with this:

I find this to be a very strong reminder that the initial road to Self-Care is to be able to let go of that which hurts us and focus on those that will give us serenity of our soul and peace in our heart. Indeed, getting over something or someone who caused us tremendous pain needs to be done at the soonest possible time. Of course, healing takes time especially when the one who hurt us is the one whom we loved so much and cared about. No matter how long, the process of healing needs to take place. Total healing cannot be achieved immediately but during the process, partial healing may happen as the gradual journey into complete healing is attained. The point is, we must begin the process and be more aware that there are other people or concerns that we can love and needing our love.

 

We feel so sad, sometimes even desolate, when we do not get the expected result. We even become depressed for the failure. We sulk. We run to seclusion. We cry. But keeping a positive outlook on the experience, we find that indeed something much better is what we deserve. We need a more rewarding result from the goodness that we do more than we realize it. We only need to stay focused on the reason for our action. That is the goal. That is the purpose. We did not get it now but that does not mean that we will not get into it anymore. Maybe not yet. More so, maybe better things or people are yet to come. Stay hopeful.

 

To cling on to what was is the metal ball that holds our foot is to prevent us from making forward steps. The past is past. It cannot be undone. It’s over. The important thing is we learn from our past. The present is what matters because our future depends on it. The past is only a memory to remember with lessons learned. As commonly said: Let go and move on.

 

 

The importance of silence and the wisdom of listening. These are not passive actions but active positive moves towards better understanding. When we speak less, we enhance our ability to listen more. And when we listen more, especially if we listen with our heart, we intensify our power to understand resulting in a better relationship among one another.

 

This one reinforces the latest one. Silence is not the absence of sound. Meaningful silence is our ability to listen to what is not uttered in words. A saying goes: If you do not understand my silence, you will never understand my word.” This is not so if we possess a listening heart. Our sense of empathy is tested in situations when words are not enough to understand someone or something. If we are a true listener, we use our heart to listen and our ears not just to hear. Silence enhances this trait.

 

 

Memories are our past. Happy or sad, they are part of the fabric of our life that helped us with who we are today. Be that as it may, we must not allow them to hold us from moving on and become better persons than we were yesterday. Without sounding like a deafening echo here, I repeat, the memories of yesterday become so valuable only if there are lessons learned for us to be a lot better than we were. Lessons learned from the past matters. We hold on to them not to hinder us from moving on but to help us find better strategies to make our present journey into the future more achievable in the best and easy way we can. And to make such a journey more pleasant. Thus, we continue towards the attainment of our dreams.

 

 

A reiteration of the former to emphasize the importance of letting go and moving on. Yesterday was just but a dream. Tomorrow is a vision of hope. Today is an experience of joy and happiness because we learned from yesterday. Those lessons learned give us hope that our future will be a brighter one. Live the now.

 

It took me some time to reflect on this one. How can I be less caring and still feel much happier? All my life I have been a caring and giving person in my own way of expressing them. My nephews and nieces were even vocal to me about this lately. One even told me: “It’s time to hang your cape.”

To express my care is to express my love. I could not do otherwise. If I do not, I don’t feel happy at all. Yet lately, this quote is making sense. I really do not know. I cared so much about an experience with a departed beloved that until now I feel the pain of his loss and the agony of not feeling his unconditional love and support for me anymore. I am showing love and care to another person who I feel to be a significant one, and yet I am experiencing frustrations for some reasons. I am beginning to question, why is my caring not giving me happiness? Maybe that is the reason for the quote: The less you care, the happier you’ll be.” I do not really know nor understand. My resolve, if my caring and loving bring joy and smile to the person I offer them to, then my purpose in life is done. The happiness of others is more important than mine.

How we take care of ourselves depends on various factors and ways. It is for us to discover them. The important thing is we learn to love ourselves first. Nemo dat quod non habet. We cannot give what we do not have. Only if we have love for ourselves shall we find and be able to love others.

But remember first, YOU ARE LOVED. Yes, we are.