Silence is Golden

Silence is Golden

(November 22, 2023)

In a world of advance technology and science, amidst the popularity of the use of various social media, and in every nook and cranny of the metropolis, silence is indeed golden. Noise pollution has become an accepted norm of daily living, and continuous movements of people and things around has become the core of progress. More and more cities have become like a “city that never sleeps.” To rest and be quiet even for just a few minutes has become a luxury in man’s daily living.

The world’s three major religions – Christianity, Judaism, and Islam – have emphasized the value of silence in their Holy Books – the Bible, the Torah, the Quran, as well as noted scholars and teachers of different faiths have written and/or spoken about it.

“God’s will for me is to live an honorable life that should silence ignorant people. I am free to live however I choose. I choose to be a Servant of the Living God which means that most often silence is golden.” (Romans 10:1-3)

“Whoever believes in God and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent.” (Al-Bukhari)

“A time to keep silent, and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

“Allah does not like speaking evil publicly unless one has been wronged. Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing. (Even though you have the right to speak evil if you are wronged), if you keep doing good – whether openly or secretly – or at least pardon the evil (then that is the attribute of Allah). Allah is All-Pardoning and He has all the power to chastise.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:148,149)

“Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

Some quotes on silence have become popular that you will find them posted by different people in almost all expressions of social media.

“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.” (Elbert Hubbard)

“Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.” (Francis Bacon)

“Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” (Mahatma Gandhi)

“In the silence, we can hear the whispers of our soul.” (Deepak Chopra)

All the above-stated quotes are just a few of the many expressions of the value of silence in our life; and how important that we find time to spend some moments of silence amidst our busy life.

Silence is essential. It nourishes the soul, energizes the mind, enflames the heart.

There is the other side of being silent though, especially when it involves any kind of relationships among individuals.

As in every aspect of human life, the dynamics of human relationships is always two-fold. One being silent is a positive, affirmative expression to better understand one another. The other is a negative, destructive act that destroys or breaks up relational bond.

Human relationship is as complex as the universe. When one person enters in a relationship with another human being, especially in a loving relationship of any gender identity or preference, one enters a very challenging life reality. That is why most experts in human relationship emphasize the importance of communication among parties involved.

Communication is another dynamic of human relationship that is not very easy to understand as it comes in a variety of forms – verbal and non-verbal.

Verbal communication involving words - spoken or written; and non-verbal meaning actions that one undertakes to convey a message.

In a loving relationship, hearing words expressing love, affirmation, support, understanding, and the likes, are means to enhance and make stronger the relational bond between individuals. Remember how you felt when the person you love says to you: “I support you, dear.” “You are indeed awesome, my love.” “I will always be here for you.” “I will love you always and forever.” “I love you very dearly.” “You are very important to me.” “You are valuable, please always take care.” And more. Words that make you love and care for the other person even a lot better.

And when something gets wrong in the relationship, one would say: “Let’s fix this.” “I am sorry.” “I’ll do better next time.” “I forgive you.” “Let’s start over again.” The humility expressed in words is an expression of deep love.

However, some persons choose a different path. They prefer silent communication. Love and care expressed in actions more than words.

A bouquet of flowers. A box of chocolates. A specially wrapped gift. A dinner to your favorite restaurant. A trip to your dream destination. A visit to your favorite park. A walk on the beach, holding hands. A kiss as you wake up and before leaving the house for work; then, a kiss as you return to home and before you sleep at night. A very tight hug when you have problems in mind and deep concerns that bother you. An embrace every now and then even for no occasion at all. To sit beside you and hold your hands as you both enjoy a TV show. An offer of tissue to dry your tears. Actions that are expressions of love, concern, understanding, care, and deep affection. Love expressions that are “more than words.”

And in the world of technology, a text message of “good morning” or “good evening”, “how are you?” “I hope you are fine” - some samples of messages that are sent to you during times of distance and temporary separation are a combination of verbal and non-verbal communication that are meant to enhance the loving relationship.

In the same breath, when relational problems occur, some go the path of silence. For reasons only the person truly knows, to be silent in a troubled relationship is the way to go.

Some people believe that keeping one’s mouth shut can say a lot of things. Others say that silence is better that saying something that may further aggravate the situation and be regretful later. It is also believed by some that silence is making and taking some space to process and understand the situation. Still others go quiet simply because they do not know what to say or do.

Some experts even encourage to keep silent and distant for a while when something troublesome comes up in a relationship. To take time to reflect and calm one’s nerve so that when talking about it comes, parties are more objective and not emotional nor confrontational in the process. It is hoped that through this approach, a better and clearer understanding comes between parties involved.

When so-called “silent treatment” is undertaken, time is essential. Factors affect the time element in silent treatment. Oftentimes though, prolonging silence brings about mental and emotional pressure to both parties. Only them know the degree of the pain and hurt that the silent treatment brings to them both.

Worse scenario can happen too. Silence can bring about complete break down of the relationship. And that is sad…very sad.

Valid reasons and justifications abound for this situation. Among all those that comes popular is “love has ended.” The feeling is lost. There is no reason to restore the relationship. Sadly, one simply walks away without an explanation because one does not care anymore. There are reasons also that say if a person walks away in silence and without an explanation needed for some closure, that person does not care nor love in the first place. That is a little harsh, but others believe that way. One takes an action not without any reason that the person knows in one’s heart. The act of walking away after a prolonged silence is a closure itself. The other party is left without a choice but to let go, move on, and rise from where the fall was made. Both parties necessitate to continue with their lives in a way and manner for which they will find happiness and love in a path they must traverse without the other…maybe to find another.

Whichever way we go, silence is an aspect of life where we must make our personal choice and be responsible to the choice we make.

Silence in a loving relationship can enhance the bond of love and care.

Silence in a troubled relationship can bring about complete brokenness.

In both ways, silence of the heart is needed to hear the whisper of God and know the reason why things happen the way they did. Through silence we can listen to God’s voice so we can understand and know what path to choose to make us better persons – a loving and a be-loved person.

Silence is love manifest when done in an appropriate way.